The short answer is: when you forgive others, you will be able to forgive yourself. I know it sounds simplistic, but I assure you it is Divine simplicity. It is so profoundly beautiful and perfect that it is worth remembering.
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If you start on the path of softening your soul and learning the law of love, you will look at this profound principle from time to time as the years go by, and each time you will see it more and more deeply.
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Here are the words of the Messiah:
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" For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:13-15.
Do you see it now? If you see it, really see it, and receive it with joy, your life will already be on the mend.
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For many of us the softening of our heart begins when we grow up and have a family. We are thus required to walk in the moccasins of our parents. Suddenly we see that they were not being deliberately cruel. More often than not, they could not stop themselves, just as you can't.
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We also see that they were just human. They got many things right, and a few wrong--just like you do. Now that you know what it feels like to walk in your parent's shoes, your heart softens and you are able to drop your judgments against them.
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Should you continue with this process, so that it extends to others (your kids, your mate, your neighbor, and so on), you become more forgiving. In other words, you no longer hate, resent and judge.
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Another thing happens. And this is really beautiful. When you begin to be sorry for resenting others (beginning with your parents), your conscience makes you feel a quiet sadness (called repentance). You are sorry within, and when you have been repented, joy returns. Suddenly you realize (because the inner Light makes it possible for you to realize it) that you have been forgiven.
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And when you have been forgiven, it makes it all the more easy to be patient with others. You do unto others what was done to you (in this case, the very positive thing of forgiving and forgetting, even as God forgave you).
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Lo and behold, when you have a mindset of forgiveness, and you realize that God has forgiven you, you can also now be patient with yourself. In other words, you no longer need play God (as you did in the past) and judge yourself.
Perhaps the most important thing for you to understand at this point is: you are repented. You cannot repent yourself.
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Trying to deal with our own sin is just another act of the ego that wants to make itself right (and if it can't then it judges itself). First our ego resents others, and then when it becomes guilty for this, it turns its resentment on itself.
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The beginning of salvation is often just realizing that you cannot save yourself. Your ego, in all its huffing and puffing, just makes itself more guilty. The answer really is: to let go and let God (as the old saying goes).
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You realize that the whole process is up to God and you are in His hands. You can now calm down and go through life easily, letting come what may (and letting whatever surfaces from your past that you need to see) in God's time and space. There is little for you to do other than observe, marvel, and experience a quiet joy.
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At this point, you might simply want to bookmark this page and put it aside in order to quietly ponder what you have read. Then come back and read some very important tips later.
I must say that though you may see and wish to have this process implemented in your life, thoughts and emotions tend to get in the way. You tend to react to people, places and situations, and the emotions and negative thoughts overpower you.
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Therefore it is very important to practice the meditation that helps you stand back and observe thought and emotion without getting pulled in. It is free to listen to and download.
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Secondly, you need some guidance about how to protect the quiet, humble state of consciousness (which is receptive to correction and understanding). Your intentions may be good, but when you go out in the world, you soon encounter someone or something that knows how to push your buttons. Your ego tends to step in and you become upset and resentful, and you know the rest of the story. You need some practical pointers on how to not over-react.
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To learn how to go through life without reacting, you may wish to get the complete meditation and meditation booklet and start to read some of my books.
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I can recommend three books to get you started:
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Roland Trujillo is Director of the Center for Common Sense Counseling. His California based radio program has brought enlightenment and spiritual help to his listeners for 20 years. He has authored a dozen books and written hundreds of articles and blog posts.
