tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23220186153290534732024-02-02T05:14:10.805-08:00Meditation For ForgivenessLearn to forgive yourself and others. Leave behind the baggage of the past and move forward to joy. Online reading and meditation resources from Dr. Roland Trujillo.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-70154792145833909012012-11-20T19:32:00.001-08:002012-11-20T19:32:30.069-08:00Love, Redemption and Salvation - Why We Need the Positive Fatherly Love from GodIt is becoming increasingly clear to me just how important love is. We all need love - but not the love of others to support what we are - but the love of God to correct what we are.<br />
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In simple terms, God sends His light - which we know as conscience or what we know in our heart - which shines a light on us. If we are willing to become still and sit still for this light, it will totally disabuse us of any illusions about ourselves. It will show you, in the clear light of truth, just what a fallen creature you are, and selfish and phony to boot.<br />
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Of course, this does not sound like love. But if you think about it, this light makes us aware of truth. It is also not supportive or reinforcing of the hateful, deceitful, selfish thing we have become. Instead it is like a wet blanket. Were this light to judge, resent or hate us, we would have an excuse to resent it back. Or to fee hurt . But since it is impartial but honest, we have no excuse to hate it.<br />
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Were you to identify with this light from God, and no longer reject the truth, but accept it willingly (not resentfully). Then you would be shriven of error, cleaved from the error, you would cling to the Light.<br />
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It's like choosing sides. There are those rare moments in life when we chose between two people, two differing ways, or two paths. You either go with one or go with the other. You either accept one or accept the other.<br />
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So it is if you are blessed to become still enough to see that there really is a Truth, and that this Truth does not hate you, but shows yo the truth about yourself. If you believe this Truth (this light of Truth with a big T), you are rejecting the lies. And when you reject the lies, you are thereby believing and accepting the truth.<br />
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You have made the choice. The dye is cast. You have moved or inclined toward God and His Truth, and turned away from the lies and the evil source of these lies.<br />
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When you were prideful and egotistical (wanting to be proud) you believed the lies and wanted to believe the lies that supported your pride. Even the lie that God does not exist supports the ego in its lonely struggle in which it takes pride and subtly blames God or fate.<br />
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But when you no longer want to be proud, but jut want to be honest, then you are compatible with the truth. Now, step by step, you will begin to reject every lie that you ever believed. It will no longer be a matter of choosing, but simply of seeing, in the Light, the lie as the lie and the Truth as the Truth. The Truth shines a light on the lie so you can see it for what it is and shrink away.<br />
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Because our faulty personality was built upon millions of lies and layer upon layer of denials, you new personality will be composed of believing rightly and then acting rightly.<br />
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Right action is easy. When you see a wrong course, one that leads to tragedy, it is simple to simply not go that way.<br />
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The exercise of right decisions because of right beliefs will lead to a new personalty and a new way of life founded in Truth. It is all so simple. Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-16638044899893446372012-09-09T10:19:00.001-07:002012-09-09T10:20:59.799-07:00Worries, Doubts and Fears? Lost Between your Ears - Pastor Roland's Got a Brand new MeditationA special offer from Dr. Roland Trujillo to introduce the 5 minute meditation stress fix.<br /><br />When you make a suggested donation of $10, you will receive the 5 minute stress fix meditation audio to listen to and try<br /><br />and you will also receive a free bonus meditation audio and 3 eBooks as a token of our appreciation for a donation of $10 to help Roland.<br /><br /><br />Get the 5 Minute Meditation Stress Fix<br /><br />and as a special bonus, you will also receive the link to the following valuable resources:<br /><br />The 4 part meditation for stress and spiritual recovery, which has been helping people for over 20 years. You will receive the link to listen to and download the 4 part meditation audio to start using right away.<br /><br /><br />You will also receive the link to download or read on line the following valuable eBooks written by Dr. Roland Trujillo<br /><br /><i>The Meditation Booklet<br />Conquering Stress and its Symptoms<br />Becoming a Friend of God: Finding Peace of Mind and Confidence in an Age of Anxiety</i><br /><br /><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/meditation.htm">All of these valuable resources for a suggested donation of $10</a><br /><br />This is a special limited offer is to introduce the new powerful 5 minute meditation stress fix and also make the classic meditation and books available to everyone.<br /><br />Do you get upset easily?<br /><br />Do you have a problem managing certain emotions?<br /><br />Do you get lost in worry? Are you confused about life and where you are going?<br /><br />Are you having trouble emotionally coping with life or relationship issues?<br /><br />If so, are you interested in trying a meditation that has helped some people recover balance and natural self control which is not dependent on external support?<br /><br />Then may I recommend you try the meditations and also enjoy reading some of my books.<br /><br />Take advantage of this special offer.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/meditation.htm">Just click on this link for more information and to get started using safe and secure Paypal.</a><br /><br />You will be able to download the 4 part meditation right away, the booklet and the valuable eBooks.<br /><br /><br /><p><b>How to Deal with Worries Doubts and Fears</b></p><p>by Roland Trujillo 2012 </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEcan0_OXItEQg6moKwq7fFc_DTQLT64HXARyrDUOonk4p4kDpX0xWeBzr-NV6rFe0r7LGIi87RCSaT9yNL52bX1toY_WryLlvo-_sCq8Vr4nmrl0osBEPr3Io1IapY96heOvIWguRH6c/s1600/friends.jpg"><img alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5691374641922144482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEcan0_OXItEQg6moKwq7fFc_DTQLT64HXARyrDUOonk4p4kDpX0xWeBzr-NV6rFe0r7LGIi87RCSaT9yNL52bX1toY_WryLlvo-_sCq8Vr4nmrl0osBEPr3Io1IapY96heOvIWguRH6c/s320/friends.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 179px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 229px;" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Pastor, I'm in a hurry</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">But I need your advice.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">All I do is worry</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">And rethink everything twice.</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I worry about this and I worry about that.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Whether I'm too thin or maybe too fat.</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Did I remember to feed the cat?</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Did I turn off the television?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Did I wait until the dryer stopped spinning?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Did I turn on the answering machine?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Was that scary thing real or was it a dream?</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Will I ever meet someone?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">With me, does anyone ever have fun?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Did I commit the unpardonable sin?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">When I arrive will they let me in?</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I dread having to give a speech tomorrow.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Why am I always behind a hard act to follow?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm worried about today,</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm still worrying about yesterday.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Does my hair look okay?</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Pastor, I need your help and suggestion.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">But I'm worried you won't answer my question.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">_____________</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Don't worry or fear,</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Pastor Roland is here.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">He's a Pastor</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">And he's got an answer.</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Relax and get a good night's rest.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Pastor Roland's answers are the best.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">He's working on an answer for you;</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">It will be ready soon.</span></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>____________________</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Thank you for your excellent question.</p><p>And let me just mention</p><p>I would like to assure you that you are not alone.</p><p>Most people get lost in thoughts</p><p>Which soon take on a negative tone.</p><p><br /></p><p>Meditation is the repair</p><p>To worries, doubts, fears and despair.</p><p>So grab your mobile device and read my poem.</p><p>And read it on your desktop when you are home.</p><p><br /></p><p>Your problem is you are too lost between your ears.</p><p>You dwell on the morbid and fall into fears.</p><p>You're too lost in daydreams, thoughts and schemes,</p><p>Replacing reality with fantasy scenes.</p><p><br /></p><p>Things are never as bleak as they seem.</p><p>Your unhappy thoughts and fears are like a bad dream.</p><p>Just meditate to wake up and see</p><p>They are just thoughts and not reality.</p><p><br /></p><p>When we're young we dream of being an athlete</p><p>Or entertainer without compare.</p><p>But when we get older, our daydreams become nightmares.</p><p>We develop the habit of escaping from our cares</p><p>The mental world becomes so strong</p><p>Soon it's in charge and bossing us around.</p><p><br /></p><p>The solution is elementary -</p><p>Learn to stand back mentally.</p><p>Become the thinker instead of the thought</p><p>Soon you'll be in charge, as you ought.</p><p><br /></p><p>Get out of your thinking and fantasy</p><p>And meditate for objectivity.</p><p>Become aware of your hand</p><p>Then you'll understand.</p><p><br /></p><p>Watch the thoughts go passing by.</p><p>Don't get involved.</p><p>Just watch them go and kiss them goodbye,</p><p>They will tease and taunt and continue to try</p><p>To pull you in to get involved.</p><p><br /></p><p>Just remember that no issues by worry were ever solved.</p><p>And as the thoughts go marching by</p><p>From your mental grandstand wave goodbye.</p><p><br /></p><p>Things are never as bleak as they seem.</p><p>Your unhappy thoughts and fears are like a bad dream.</p><p>Just meditate to wake up and see</p><p>They are just thoughts and not reality.</p><p><br /></p><p>Once you become centered and grounded</p><p>You'll see that most of your fears are unfounded.</p><p><br /></p><p>Get out of your thinking</p><p>And the emotions in which you are sinking.</p><p>Mentally step back</p><p>And calmly observe your panic attacks.</p><p>Remain neutral and mentally distant.</p><p><br /></p><p>Don't offer resentful resistance.</p><p>Struggling makes negative thoughts worse.</p><p>Just remember the following verse:</p><p><br /></p><p>Things are never as bleak as they seem.</p><p>Your unhappy thoughts and fears are like a bad dream.</p><p>Just meditate to wake up and see</p><p>They are just thoughts and not reality.</p><p><br /></p><p>Don't sit around and ruminate</p><p>Let me show you how to meditate.</p><p><br /></p><p>It's so easy, you will say "wow."</p><p>"Nobody ever showed me how."</p><p>I can get you started now.</p><p><br /></p><p>You will be able to discern what is true</p><p>And you'll intuit what to do.</p><p>Worries, doubts, and fears will be a thing of the past</p><p>When you learn to watch them and let them pass.</p><br /><br /><br />I will send you the link to the 5 minute meditation stress fix by email as soon as I learn of your donation. <a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/meditation.htm">Thank you for helping me and congratulations on taking a step to help yourself.</a><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-7777297970166750412011-11-27T19:21:00.000-08:002011-11-27T19:29:37.057-08:00"I Can't Forgive Myself" Don't be This Person Any Longer - a Poem of Finding Peace of MindHow to Forgive Yourself<span style="FONT-STYLE: italic;font-size:85%;" >“I fled Him down the nights and down the days<br />I fled Him down the arches of the years<br />I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways<br />Of my own mind, and in the midst of tears<br />I hid from him, and under running laughter.”<br />― Francis G. Thompson, The Hound of Heaven.<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><br />I had a little work related stress,<br />And my apartment was a mess.<br />My boyfriend left town,<br />And my Internet was down.<br /><br />I had a little anxiety<br />But no one could really help me, as you will see.<br /><br />I'll spare you the details of what happened since<br />Remembering the first few months just makes me wince.<br />Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they all meant well,<br />But my life became a living hell.<br /><br />Despite all my troubles, I want you to know<br />There is a very happy ending though.<br />But first I had to humble my pride<br />And give up all the hate that was inside.<br />Let's begin at the start<br />When I used to think I was smart.<br />So here goes . . . .<br /><br />"I've got a little work related stress,<br />And my apartment is a mess.<br />My boyfriend left town,<br />and I'm feeling a little down"<br /><br />"Let's try this and see if it works for you.<br />Just to take the edge off and relax you too."<br /><br />I'm not trying to complain.<br />At least he gave what I had a name.<br />But why was I still in pain?<br /><br />Why did everything irritate me;<br />Why did I get angry at everything I see;<br />Why was I lonely, bitter and sad?<br />When others were happy it made me feel bad.<br /><br />I wondered: Am I just a chemical imbalance?<br />Am I just a body for men to use?<br />What they call love just makes me confused.<br /><br />My parents kept saying I must be a success,<br />But nothing seemed to give me happiness.<br />What good is it if I succeed<br />If no one can give me an answer to what I need?<br /><br />I went to the chaplain and she was nice.<br />She prayed with me, stayed with me and called me twice.<br /><br />But why does everyone just want to comfort me?<br />Why can't I overcome, move on and and just be free?<br />Everyone is helpful and kind,<br />But why couldn't I leave my issues behind?<br /><br />I heard someone talk about being free indeed,<br />It sounded like just what I need.<br />I joined a church and went twice a week.<br />Hoping to find the answers I seek.<br />I studied, sang and prayed,<br />But became uneasy the longer I stayed.<br /><br />After the excitement wore off,<br />When I was home by myself,<br />I had to admit what I could tell no one else:<br />Inside I was still the same old self.<br /><br />Something was missing. It is hard to describe.<br />I still felt empty inside.<br />So I kept on searching for the meaning of life.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong.<br />It's nice to sing a song,<br />And memorize a Scripture or two.<br />But if the the dogma is rigid and the words insipid,<br />It's something I would rather not do.<br /><br />I found another group that was all acceptance and hugs.<br />They had drums and a guitar (but no drugs).<br />There was clapping and singing, and swaying.<br />Positive thinking and lots of praying.<br /><br />I don't want to be rude<br />But I had to conclude<br />They tried their best,<br />But like many men, they failed the test.<br />Decent and friendly and nice guys,<br />But just more emptiness in disguise.<br /><br />So I threw in the towel<br />It was all beginning to sour.<br />I went back to my weed and speed.<br />But it didn't take me long to see that it was wrong.<br />Now I could see<br />it just wasn't me.<br /><br />I needed more than people's comfort and being nice,<br />More than the drugs, the hugs, the songs and the words;,<br />More than study and the palliative prayer.<br />I wanted the answer that sets me free<br />To move forward and be a new me.<br /><br />I found an Eastern philosophy<br />Which I heard about on TV.<br />And I also tried East/West spirituality.<br />They talked about enlightenment and tranquility,<br />But they struck me as selfish and all about oneself.<br />Like being self preoccupied and sitting on the shelf.<br />Something about it just didn't feel right.<br />It was close to what I wanted, but not quite.<br /><br />I went back to the university.<br />It was a relief to talk about sustainable development and diversity,<br />And not about religion or eternity.<br />The rebellion and free lifestyle were inviting.<br />The football and parties were exciting.<br /><br />But it struck me as hollow and empty,<br />A juvenile rebellion against authority,<br />Or an intellectual rebellion against God, you see.<br />And the shallow selfish people I saw graduate<br />Made me want to hesitate.<br /><br />I began to resent them all for not being there for me.<br />First my dad then every other authority.<br />I resented them for their shallow answers<br />Or for their glib answers<br />To persuade me, to intimidate me<br />To speak condescendingly.<br />It was all about party time,<br />The bottom line,<br />Or the party line.<br /><br />I could not let go of judgment and resentment<br />toward those who robbed me of my contentment<br />I was full of contempt for their weakness<br />And anger over their pretense.<br /><br />And I resented myself too.<br />I was so full of hate, what else could I do?<br /><br />I resented everyone for not having love for me.<br />I was filled with anger and blame, it was plain to see.<br />But at least I was on the verge of seeing what was wrong with me.<br /><br />Each day at the park I watched the little kids play.<br />Full of happiness and joy and never a bad day.<br />I pondered the difference between them and me.<br />And slowly I began to see.<br /><br />What I was like when I was small I had forgot.<br />There's only one difference between them and me.<br />I am resentful and they are not.<br /><br />Thinking back to earlier years,<br />I began to see what started my decline to emptiness and tears.<br /><br />I resented my mom and my dad, you see.<br />I especially resented my dad for not being there for me.<br />I hated my life too and everything about myself,<br />And then it spread over the years to everyone else.<br /><br />I resented my peers, my partner, my kids and my luck too.<br />My job, my boss, and My God! Even You.<br /><br />Resentment became a way of life.<br />The loser's way of avoiding strife.<br />Judging and angry at everything, it seemed harmless at the time.<br />A way to judge underneath, but pretend everything was fine.<br /><br />It gave me a secret ego satisfaction -<br />A loser's way of getting even.<br />It was a secret reaction.<br />On the surface I smiled, but underneath I was was judgmental and mean.<br /><br />"I'm a nice person" I would always say.<br />"Just look at all I've done for others today."<br />But it was service out of guilt for resenting their demands.<br />I could claim to be a martyr that no one understands.<br /><br />All of this and much more I began to see<br />I couldn't duck the truth, it was as plain as it could be.<br />But now instead of resenting truth, I was saddened about what I had discovered,<br />About the sneaky hate and hostility that had been uncovered.<br /><br />I could not change myself, though regretting what I see.<br />So now I was in quite a quandary.<br />Wanting to change but not knowing just how,<br />My dilemma was finally solved, and I'll show you now:<br /><br />When something about yourself you see<br />That you would rather not be.<br />But you've found that struggle and trying just make things worse.<br />The solution is so simple, it is found in the following verse.<br /><br />Just regret what you see about yourself.<br />Don't try to charge with any effort.<br />Quietly bear the brief pain of seeing - just do that and nothing else.<br />It is God's light, we call conscience, which is making you see.<br />God is present, and the sadness is in His Light by which you see.<br /><br />When you know the sadness you feel is because of God's good Light<br />This realization is a great comfort to the soul who now yields to what is right.<br />The changes you want will happen in God's due time.<br />So just relax and you'll be fine.<br /><br />I walked around and was sad about what I discovered.<br />But I sensed that my innocence and sweetness I had recovered.<br />So I just bore the pain without trying to change.<br />Soon I began to shed a quiet tear over what I saw about myself.<br />I was sad, then glad, then relieved, I must confess,<br />To just come clean and let God clear up my mess.<br /><br />I experienced something profound,<br />Repentance I had found.<br />Not of myself but of He.<br />God's light was repenting me.<br /><br />It was like a purging and catharsis of my wrong<br />What I couldn't do myself, He can because He is kind and gentle and strong.<br />First the pain, followed by sadness, then the soul bursts into song,<br />Because I know the quiet joy that He has forgiven me of my wrong.<br /><br />After I was purged I was free to see<br />One by one, what was wrong with me.<br />Each time the same process: first pain, sadness then relief.<br />After being sorry, I found peace beyond belief.<br /><br />Every day a little pain to bear,<br />Regret, forgiveness and then joy without compare.<br /><br />Each day the pain is less but the wrong more subtle,<br />Seeing all the wrong inside bursts the ego's bubble.<br />One day there will be no more wrong to see,<br />Just peace of mind and a life of discovery.<br /><br />Repentance is God's way, and anyone who tries to imitate it or force it<br />Will just interfere but never replace it.<br />Repentance is God's plan for recovery.<br /><br />That's why outside reassurance and consolation<br />Will only make you guilty, because they rob the soul of repentance.<br />Covering up wrong with assurance, reassurance, and affirmations<br />Interfere with the Light and its redeeming and shaming presence.<br /><br />The lesson is clear<br />You can't repent yourself.<br />Just be willing to be humbled and shed a tear<br />And wait for God to draw near.<br /><br />When you are not right inside<br />Pious words and gestures only support pride.<br />You become a model of hypocrisy<br />Because others can see your inconsistency.<br /><br />In our pride and with our ego's short sight.<br />We think we have to make something happen with effort and with might.<br />That is how our ego blocks God's redeeming light.<br /><br />Our biggest error is resenting His light<br />Or suppressing what is wrong to keep it out of sight,<br />When what you should be doing is exposing it to the light,<br /><br />Just regret your wrong without trying to make yourself right,<br />Wait for repentance and change in the Light.<br /><br />And here is something else profound,<br />When resentment is gone, love is there to be found.<br />God's love warms the soul and takes away the need.<br />Now you can forgive others for their misdeeds.<br /><br />You always craved something from them and resented when they didn't have it.<br />Now you know why they didn't have love, because they hadn't found it.<br />You see, when they were little they were victims too<br />That's why they didn't have love for you.<br /><br />So now I made what was done to me unimportant,<br />And became unblocked and even cleaned up my apartment.<br />I was happy and care free, and moved forward with living.<br />I had found the answer, and it is this:<br />To be more forgiving.<br /><br />And when you forgive others by dropping resentment,<br />God forgives you, and you find peace and contentment.<br /><br /><br /><br />.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-89229248130236148162011-11-14T18:53:00.000-08:002011-11-14T19:07:12.749-08:00I Can't Forgive Myself- Can God Forgive Me?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeyVXOLW4AcIbHy0Hg4V34VIjJVOUKZtt0qrRwU2lG7T067kcF1uW6lBhyphenhyphentSNGmqypOtFQhOHGyJ6SNa9a9TYJvBUkd54_Q5lTvOvnfnfZRlivqhHPHweqzpbQb16q2IgthIqZBmiqXYA/s1600/woman+with+hat+in+hammock+0001.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 206px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeyVXOLW4AcIbHy0Hg4V34VIjJVOUKZtt0qrRwU2lG7T067kcF1uW6lBhyphenhyphentSNGmqypOtFQhOHGyJ6SNa9a9TYJvBUkd54_Q5lTvOvnfnfZRlivqhHPHweqzpbQb16q2IgthIqZBmiqXYA/s320/woman+with+hat+in+hammock+0001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675053115382498738" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">What you currently are experiencing is resentment and struggle. You have been unforgiving toward others, and now your unforgiveness is turned on yourself.<br /><br />You have struggled with guilt, and tried to make yourself innocent. Nothing has worked, of course, so now you are resentful over that too.<br /><br />The answer is to find the blessed state of mind. </span>This blessed state of mind is where you can stand back and observe yourself objectively. Instead of being involved in the struggle with your fallen nature and errors, you need to be able to observe yourself without reacting or resenting what you see.<br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">.<br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">People search for Nirvana, enlightenment or salvation. They search for innocence.<br /><br />Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, who did not realize what a lovely life she had at home in Kansas until she had strayed far and wide, likewise the blessed carefree state of mind is hidden in plain sight. Not everyone will find it, but some will.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">.<br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I have discovered that those who find it are sometimes the most messed up. They are not self righteous or desirous of worldly approval. Instead, they are desirous of truth. The ones who are the most messed up are often those who did not want to become phony, cruel, or shallow.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">.<br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">But their big mistake--their mistake of all mistakes--was to become resentful toward other people. And then they doubted the goodness and truth that they had loved in their heart of hearts.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Through doubt they drifted away from the inner home, which they had been close to when they were little children. And through resentment, they began to take in the world. And as the world seeped in, horror of horror, they found themselves becoming just like those they resented on the outside.</span><br /><br />their next mistake, and undoubtedly yours too, was to try to save themselves by struggling with guilt and error, and trying to change themselves. It doesn't work.<br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">If this describes you, then perhaps you are ready to return to what you once knew as a little child but have fallen away from. You want to make the return trip, but don't know how. You keep going out in the world and reacting to people and situations, and flounder.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I am extending my hand in friendship to help you. I will not begin by talking to you about religion or Christ. Such words would most likely only reinforce the "ameners" among you, as one write so aptly said, and drive the rest of you away.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Instead I will begin by giving you the key to calming down and being more dispassionate in the moment. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">In your current state of mind, any religious or philosophical words, no matter how lofty, will simply get all jumbled up with with emotions, what has impressed itself on you in the past, and preconceived notions.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Were I to talk about religion, it would simply reinforce words or ideas picked up from conditioning of the past, or it would result in an aversion reaction to words or ideas that were forced on you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">But I have found that when we calm down and find the magical viewpoint of objectivity, we stop responding to external words or people, and start responding to inner intuition. less reactive, calm, and objective, we can then begin to see for ourselves what is true. Then you will be able to see for yourself and know the truth, not because someone said so, but because you see it is so.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So let's keep it simple.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I promise that for those of you who are sincere, there will be many wonderful discoveries to be made. But first, let's begin with calming down.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">If you relate to what I've said, and would like to start calming down and want to start getting back in touch with your own intuition, it might be good to just go ahead and listen to the short meditation, which is free. While you are at it, you can read some of the free information there.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Right now, if you are like most people, you don't need a lot more information. What you need are simple instructions on how to sit still and relate to intuition. Once you learn how to do this simple thing, you will then be able to receive more information.</span><br /><br /><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/about_med.htm"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>To find out about the free meditation, click here.<br /></strong></span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The following is an excerpt from one of my books.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Remain neutral to the outside charade. Be neither for nor against. Stand back and observe.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Meditate to find communion with God’s inner Light, and it will deliver you from evil. It will become a lamp unto your feet. It will restore your peace of mind and bring order into your life.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The purpose of all my writings is to tell you about this blessed state, remind you that it is there, and show you how to get back. I am speaking to you from this state and from an enlightened viewpoint. I point out the errors we make, and if you are open to what I say, then you can see the errors too in light of your own awareness. You see--by listening to me or perhaps by reading what I write, you may be able to pull back form your worries, doubts, fears and problems, and see things in light of an enlightened point of view.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Seeing in this light, you draw back from involvement in the tempting thoughts and resulting problems, and see them objectively.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The drawing power of thoughts and distractions is so subtle that we are pulled from awareness in the twinkling of an eye, and don’t even realize it. And this happens thousands or tens of thousands of times a day. Perhaps it would be helpful to call such losses of awareness, micro hypnotic events or micro post hypnotic events.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The moment something captures your attention and you drift away with it, it has power over you. And it will retain this power. Whenever this thought or memory is cued, it will have the power to put you in a trance again, even more quickly and deeply.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">It is for this reason that we get lost in a bag of potato chips and “can’t eat just one.” And it is the mechanism behind many of your compulsions and obsessions, fetishes, and self defeating behaviors.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Let me restate the point in a different way. When we think of failure: we think of failing to make the team or get the job. We think of people who are “failures” who can’t fit in, can’t make the grade, can’t succeed, or who become permanent victims. We think of people struggling with some personal issue (like weight gain, alcoholism or drugs), and generally succumbing over and over. We think of criminals who keep messing up and ending up in the system.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">We think of failing to reconcile with a parent, failing to save our marriage, failing to communicate with our kids. We think of failing our loved ones in some way. We think in global terms: I’m a failure, I never get things right, I always mess up, I’m stupid or I’m clumsy.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Notice how these global condemnations sound much like what many people heard when they were kids. In some emotional moment, a parent, teacher, or other person said the ominous global negative suggestion.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So ask yourself--When you are beating yourself up over missing the putt, gaining weight, or messing something up—are you re-voicing the negative words that were suggested in some long ago moment of emotion? Was that moment fraught with upset and resentment—the moment where you were programmed by the suggestion (verbal or otherwise)?</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Now when a similar moment arises, the old programming arises in your mind, now in “your own” inner voice. Is it really your thinking, or is it the programming from the negative, emotional moment long ago when you inadvertently accepted an aberrant notion? And is your continued struggle with it only reinforcing and giving it power?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">What I want you to do is see that failure begins in a moment, when we fall away from our safe neutral objective vantage point. We are destabilized by our emotional reaction to another’s words, and our soul comes down to partake of the ego building emotion. We are tempted to doubt, to resent another, and to partake of forbidden emotions. We fall, in that moment, for temptation.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Though the main focus of this chapter is on resentment, let me quickly add that a rush of pride when we react to another’s recognition of us or their flattery is also a moment of failing. We ought not to be uplifted by praise. The emotion of excitement at the opportunity or temptation to do something wrong is also a failing.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">There are many such initial moments of failing and being programmed. But perhaps the most important thing for you to see is that there were just a few key ones that set you on the path to lowered consciousness and error. You did not start off life wanting to be a drunk, a drug addict, a mess up, a nagging witch or a wimp.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Your pattern of failing had to begin somewhere. In some moment. Undoubtedly a moment when you doubted what was right or when you resented another.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">What you must do now is not struggle with symptoms. Instead you should spend your time and energy learning the art of sitting still and regaining a calm objective awareness.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">When you get back calm neutrality, you will be closer to the Light, in which dwells the power to stand back and observe temptation for what it is and not respond to it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The power of awareness will also permit you to be more detached as you go through life, so that you will not so easily fall into distractions. It will permit you to also stand back from thought and observe it without falling into it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Yes, you will still fall into thought, and it will happen may times over the weeks, months and years, but now when you do, you will suddenly become aware that you have slipped away with thought, and you will have the power to pull back.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Once you fell and failed, it became easier to fall the next time. The next time an opportunity to escape into distracting activity or thoughts, it felt like a relief, because you used the distraction to escape from awareness of guilt. In other words, you escaped from conscience into the warm and comforting arms of temptation.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">As people get older, you see them slipping into nostalgia. Their mind literally goes, as they fall into thought which comforts them and shields them from seeing what failures they are.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Now you know why we are failures. It is not because we did not make the team or get the job. Nor is it because we got divorced or had a falling out with a child. Our real failing occurs in the moment, where we fail to meet the moment with grace—with attentiveness to what is right and with a dispassionate forgiving attitude toward others.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Who was it who said: sow a thought, reap and action. Sow an action, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I say: meet the next moment properly, then the next, then the next. And each moment met properly will tighten your rapport with inner reason and love from God.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">What defeats you now is: 1) becoming upset and 2) resenting yourself for failing again. 3) Struggling with the symptoms of your error 4) struggling with error and trying to make yourself right.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Meditate for calm objectivity. Don’t try to make anything happen. Don’t try to make yourself right. Don’t resent yourself for messing up. If you mess up, just see that you did.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Stand back and observe. See how even your thoughts try to tempt you. They will seek an injunction against meditation. They will torment you and try to make you doubt God and His goodness. Don’t give way. Stand back and observe.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Silently cry out to God. And He will answer. Temptation has no power over good. And it has no power over you, other than the power you give it be reacting to it. Therefore, do not struggle or resent it. And don’t resent yourself.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Meditate for objectivity. Stand back; don’t go floating downstream with negative thoughts in any way, shape or form. Be aware that nice rosy thoughts can also be another distraction. Just watch. Observe tormenting thoughts until they dissolve away.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Notice what the tormenting thoughts want from you. They want you to react. When you react, they gain increasing power over you. When you do not react, they lose power.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>Get the free meditation now</strong></span></a><br /><br /><br /><strong style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/28232602/Conquering-Stress-and-Its-Symptoms">Preview free at Scribd <em>Conquering Stress and its Symptoms</em></a></span></strong><br /><strong style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><em><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></em></strong><br /><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>Read more about meditation</strong></span></a><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">Read.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-61551778142025455162011-07-23T14:39:00.000-07:002011-07-23T14:41:51.122-07:00Forgiving Yourself and Others - How Resentment Blocks the Flow of Love<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-4K5IMUdPvvbYhiZ2tffl1Aok_cUJY3P45tOGEiGkvY_XWzIc_xIhfF0-z-Vzr6zflDwswkfq6_QBbvaZY6_apsUC47QqA_vl2t678A-6yRQlHNW8EJAoQy_fJhyknx7OkH4OS8e-QMo/s1600/roland+cutout+on+background+2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5631455567371101106" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; WIDTH: 151px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 99px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-4K5IMUdPvvbYhiZ2tffl1Aok_cUJY3P45tOGEiGkvY_XWzIc_xIhfF0-z-Vzr6zflDwswkfq6_QBbvaZY6_apsUC47QqA_vl2t678A-6yRQlHNW8EJAoQy_fJhyknx7OkH4OS8e-QMo/s320/roland+cutout+on+background+2.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">Whether it is depression, unhappiness in marriage, postpartum blues, or chronic pain, there is an often overlooked and little understood factor, called resentment, that contributes to, reinforces, and prolongs negative emotions and a host of associated symptoms. Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD has written extensively on this topic, on coping strategies and about taking positive steps to move forward. In this blog, he comments on resentment and unforgiveness in marriage and how it exacerbates arguments and hurt feelings. </span><br /><br /><br />Josh and Kaitlin just had another big spat. This time the huge argument was over the toothpaste tube.<br /><br />Last week they had a big argument over money. Two weeks ago the argument was over whether to have the window open or closed.<br /><br />Each time she throws everything in his face. He clams up. Nothing is solved. Another layer is added to unfinished business and baggage from the past, which resurfaces the next time they argue.<br /><br />To the untrained observer, it would appear that the issue was the toothpaste tube, money or the window. But to Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD, not so.<br /><br />"The toothpaste tube is only the occasion for pent up hostility, suppressed angers and long standing unfinished business to burst forth."<br /><br />Roland continues: "Here's the rest of the story. Josh comes home from work and sits down in front of the television. Kaitlin had been working all day and taking care of the kids. She feels unappreciated.<br /><br />Josh can sense that she is angry about something, but he doesn't want to begin a conversation because he knows the dam will break and she will throw a long list of things in his face. So he avoids talking.<br /><br />Josh stays home in the evening even though his friends want him to play cards with them. He is angry because she does not appreciate his sacrifice. Kaitlin complains that the repair he made in the bathroom is not working so she is going to have to call someone else to do it who knows what they are doing. Josh feels like she does not respect him.<br /><br />Kaitlin wants to talk. She hopes the maybe when thy go to bed, they can talk like they used to. Josh falls asleep right away. Kaitlin feels unloved.<br /><br />Kaitlin admits to her friend that she tends to throw everything at him all at once. He probably feels overwhelmed says her friend. I know, says Kaitlin, but I can't help it. I keep trying to get his attention."<br /><br />And once she does, everything that she has been holding in comes out. Afterwards she feels guilty about it.<br /><br />Josh tells his friends that he loves his wife, but "she is never satisfied with anything I do." "I'm always wrong."<br /><br />Soon one or both of them are thinking: "I'm tired of arguing. I'm tired of not being appreciated. I'm tired of being the one who has to work on our marriage. I'm tired of always giving in for peace. We have nothing in common. The love is gone."<br /><br />Here's the bottom line, says Roland. Kaitlin is resentful. And so is Josh. It is the resentment that causes the accumulation of hurt feelings and hostility. The accumulation of upset leads to either exploding in anger or suppressing and clamming up. Neither is healthy.<br /><br />Resentment washes away reason. Resentment takes away the ability to be reasonable and calm. It leads to frustration and upset. These lead to discouragement, feeling tired, negative thinking, stress and physical symptoms that stress contributes to.<br /><br />I can help, says Roland. By learning to let go of resentment, you stop feeding upset, frustration, bitterness, discouragement that contribute to further negative symptoms and feelings. It is also resentment that makes you feel empty, inferior, unfulfilled and unloved.<br /><br />Roland's practical solutions are based in understanding. "I describe the why of what is happening. I talk about men and women, about how they are different and about how we can more easily appreciate our differences when the resentment factor is removed.<br /><br />Understanding is the answer--when you become aware of what is really going on and see many good reasons for letting go of resentment, your new understanding will help you feel better and become more joyous and positive.<br /><br />If your partner also develops understanding, then your relationship can become heaven on earth. If only you become more aware and mature in your understanding, you are still much better off because you will be able to deal gracefully with situations, and spare yourself the upset, frustra<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjelkNA2FuZfRoUGT8U7zrGe6_Vapqqz5P1GaMKiZp1FCkLbxsS-9kyIRj6L_av8XSB9zeUNVvOV1j9J8IhB7ZO0oZTfBgCafWn6WIDa_fdI-V8HYBBaqOy6bhNMpMqUPcf0_uO-MKA_JUq/s1600/Woman+sitting+at+table+200x+0001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5627749038593677266" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; WIDTH: 150px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 140px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjelkNA2FuZfRoUGT8U7zrGe6_Vapqqz5P1GaMKiZp1FCkLbxsS-9kyIRj6L_av8XSB9zeUNVvOV1j9J8IhB7ZO0oZTfBgCafWn6WIDa_fdI-V8HYBBaqOy6bhNMpMqUPcf0_uO-MKA_JUq/s320/Woman+sitting+at+table+200x+0001.jpg" border="0" /></a>tion and emptiness you now feel.<br /><br />Another thing, says Roland. Many people know they are resentful and want to give it up, but don't know how. I know how, and I show you.<br /><br />Other people think that being more forgiving means giving in for peace. But I can show you that it is resentment and guilt that makes you keep quiet or give in now. I can show you how to let go of resentment, which frees you up to express yourself and speak up (without resentment).<br /><br />What I teach should be common knowledge, but you can hardly get these insights anywhere else. Sure there are some good marriage and relationship programs or counseling. The seminar leaders, writer or counselor may be working with bits and pieces of the solution. But I have the whole and I put it all together. With others, you get some pieces of the jigsaw puzzle, but I can give yo the complete picture.<br /><br />It is not for everyone though. Some people just want to hang onto resentment and judgment. And as long as they are unwilling to give them up, they are not ready for understanding. But when they are ready, my teachings are a God sent.<br /><br />____________________<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqaCo4AQpEEgMJbABSM261bp_TI2VNgLetkfkDNrNPUUVp7qY2_rxb_M5X3iEnKzf8AG4wr5UXif_lvxRTnVRLLrIROYdM06twhztLjF7y0JNz-0K58BGsIWB_z3blIh3Uxj29RLy2cjXe/s1600/Myths+and+Mysteries+front+cover.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5619669184693853010" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 202px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqaCo4AQpEEgMJbABSM261bp_TI2VNgLetkfkDNrNPUUVp7qY2_rxb_M5X3iEnKzf8AG4wr5UXif_lvxRTnVRLLrIROYdM06twhztLjF7y0JNz-0K58BGsIWB_z3blIh3Uxj29RLy2cjXe/s320/Myths+and+Mysteries+front+cover.jpg" border="0" /></a>Hello, my name is Roland and I am a pastor. I've been on the radio for almost 22 years, both secular stations and Christian stations around the country.<br /><br />I get a lot of questions about relationships and marriage--probably most of the questions I get. A couple of years ago I wrote a book about marriage. It was excellent, but I wanted to take it to the next level.<br /><br />I think that <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage</span> really does fulfill my expectations. I wanted a book that is about marriage, and even though I am conservative and traditional, I wanted the book to be inclusive. And it is.<br /><br />People who are in long term or short term relationships will enjoy and benefit from my book. I talk about some of the deep aspects of marriage, and I can explain why so many relationships have issues.<br /><br />I also wanted at talk about dating and courtship (there is a difference), and why I favor courtship.<br /><br />I wanted a book for ladies who are working on their relationship. But I also wanted it to be a book that men, especially thoughtful men who want to be good husbands and fathers, will feel comfortable with.<br /><br />I wanted a book that is serious--a serious book about a serious and important topic. But I also wanted it to be fun--a good read--and even funny in parts.<br /><br />Finally I wanted to write a book that can be read again and again. Each time getting some new insight. Or a book that a young man or lady who is just married, and issues develop, can reach for and turn to the chapter on the issue, and get some insights and solutions.<br /><br />I believe that this is the book.<br /><br />Your friend, Pastor Roland<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Product Description<br /><br />Why do couples argue? How can we put the sparkle back in our marriage? How can we communicate better? I’m a Christian but my boyfriend is not. What is the difference between courtship and casual dating? My wife asked me to leave. Why are men the way we are? What does my wife want? Can we reconcile? How about sex? My wife cheated on me –now what? Based on over 20 years of counseling couples and answering questions on the radio, this is the courtship, marriage and relationship repair handbook you have been waiting for. Roland tackles the tough questions with humor, discernment, and refreshing honesty. From the Garden of Eden to the 21st century, he’s got relationships covered.<br /><br />About the Author<br /><br />Roland Trujillo, lecturer, marriage coach, author, radio host, husband and dad, introduces his new comprehensive look at the delights, the challenges and the mysteries of marriage. For over 20 years, Roland has been helping couples repair their relationships and move forward to optimal living. Roland is now bringing his insights, based in compassion and spiritual principles, to a new level in this unique look at the perils, pitfalls, and promises of relationships.<br />Product Details<br /><br />Paperback: 318 pages<br />ISBN-10: 1463663706<br />ISBN-13: 978-1463663704Here it is. The book you have been waiting for.<br /><br /><br />Written by Pastor Roland and based on 20 years of counseling and coaching couples<br /><br /><br />Here are just some of the topics discussed<br /></span><br /><br />The Dating and Mating Game Is Not a Game<br />“A Rose by Any Other Name is Still a Rose”<br />Why I Decided to Become a Pastor<br />Where to Find Real Solutions to your Relationship Woes<br />Why Couples Argue<br />Myths of Marriage<br />Sex in Marriage – The Shocking Truth<br />How to Forgive and Forget<br />How to Apologize and Clear the Air with Dignity<br />Just How Important is Dad?<br />Marriage Counseling for Men<br />Can I Reconcile with My Husband, Wife, or Child?<br />Is Food Your Secret Lover and Enabler?<br />Dealing with Hard Times<br />Adam & Eve: The First Dysfunctional Family<br />My Husband is Annoying<br />My Wife Asked Me to Move Out –What Should I<br />Do?<br />Advice to Divorced Moms<br />My Wife Cheated on Me – Now What?<br />Finding the Best Marriage Advice – Trust Your<br />God Given Instincts<br />10<br />The Strong Family—Ten Lessons in Faithfulness<br /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Myths-Mysteries-Marriage-Making-Relationships/dp/1463663706/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311282721&sr=1-2">Purchase at Amazon.com in quality paperback for $14.95</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/57958046/The-Myths-and-Mysteries-of-Marriage-making-relationships-work"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Preview at Scribd and purchase to download to your computer or mobile device for $9.95. Save 33% off paperback</span></a><br /><br />Got a budget? Want to help Pastor Roland? For a donation of $5.00 we will send you this 315 page book in pdf. as a token of our appreciation. <a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm">Click here to look inside or donate to help Roland </a><br /><br />Save 66% from paperback price<br /><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm"></a></span><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm"><span id="formatbar_Buttons" style="DISPLAY: block"><span class="" id="formatbar_CreateLink" title="Link" style="DISPLAY: block"><img class="gl_link" alt="Link" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif" border="0" /></span></span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/57958046/The-Myths-and-Mysteries-of-Marriage-making-relationships-work"><br /><br /></a><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-88786864619007161912011-04-27T18:42:00.000-07:002011-04-27T18:42:59.208-07:00Talk To a Pastor Online: Don't Let Financial Troubles Harm Your Marriage or...<a href="http://talktoapastoronline.blogspot.com/2011/04/editors-note-following-is-excerpt-from.html?spref=bl">Talk To a Pastor Online: Don't Let Financial Troubles Harm Your Marriage or...</a>: "Financial crisis does not have to lead to family crisis. Economic troubles don't have to result in relationship or health problems. You ..."Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-10818735990111538902011-04-24T08:05:00.000-07:002012-10-18T13:26:19.115-07:00Talk To a Pastor Online: Becoming a Friend of God - Finding Peace of Mind a...<a href="http://talktoapastoronline.blogspot.com/2011/04/becoming-friend-of-god-finding-peace-of.html?spref=bl">Talk To a Pastor Online: Becoming a Friend of God - Finding Peace of Mind a...</a>: "This Easter weekend celebrates the most beautiful and positive victory of all time. As my gift to you, I just published Becoming a Frie..."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPb0A3ugV5rEk9BXvL6STdp5jxl6j83xTzvOG5BlL42D4qyI_ijW6mmyYc-1FbJlisF1pCmd70WHsx_8uRPs3q0-Z6wRp6bB1OK4Mvbstym52g1eLg4idlNXhezRE0OXEzGspcB4gbUFIR/s1600/becoming+a+friend+of+God.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598591677672440434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPb0A3ugV5rEk9BXvL6STdp5jxl6j83xTzvOG5BlL42D4qyI_ijW6mmyYc-1FbJlisF1pCmd70WHsx_8uRPs3q0-Z6wRp6bB1OK4Mvbstym52g1eLg4idlNXhezRE0OXEzGspcB4gbUFIR/s320/becoming+a+friend+of+God.jpg" style="cursor: hand; float: left; height: 240px; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 150px;" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">This Easter weekend celebrates the most beautiful and positive victory of all time. This is one of my favorite books. i love the title and the contents are even more beautiful. If you wish to find God, recover from spiritual anxiety and overcome unhappiness by discovering your spiritual roots, please check this book out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/PDF/becoming_excerpt2.pdf">Read chapter one free here</a>, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm">and then get a pdf for a gift of any amount. </a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana;">As my gift to you, if you cannot afford a small donation but want to read the whole book, send me an email. I just published <i>Becoming a Friend of God - Finding Peace of Mind and Courage in an Age of Anxiety</i> online for a very nice reading experience. Send me an email and I will send you the link.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana;">I wrote this book a couple of years ago. I just republished it I offer it to you at this blessed Easter time as my gift. To God be the glory.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span>
Many of us have deep issues that we carry with us through life. We seek
answers in the world, only to be disappointed or misunderstood. What is
the meaning of life? Why am I here? Why do I keep messing up? Does God
exist? If He does, will He forgive me? We also wonder about our
relationship with others, a distance between ourselves and our father,
or about issues in our marriage and family life. Take heart. The answers
to your deepest questions and the solutions to your problems are within
reach. Only a couple of things stand in the way. One is resentment.
Another is a reluctance to find and trust what you know in your heart.
This magical book will show you how to re-find intuition and the very
secret to life.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Friend-God-Finding-ebook/dp/B0086BG7MK">Preview and purchase in Kindle edition at Amazon.com </a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-5481971765843377522011-03-06T20:07:00.000-08:002011-03-06T20:09:59.006-08:00Living the Meditative Life - What Some Noble Souls Had to Say<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmfmmFm1GH_JkCjP3LkOcrSoS6Y4Wk4eJy4C3hzpQFGoJvl8_YPyxyVgx9e96o_fqwU3W1XSKnIR-gFhACOuupiVA6ZnzmXPA4_dT40rx-Rj2R0Sk3DHwoVwf2hbimAgtAT0bnLD70KZA/s1600-h/Businesswoman+0015.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 143px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 159px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5346830542122046402" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmfmmFm1GH_JkCjP3LkOcrSoS6Y4Wk4eJy4C3hzpQFGoJvl8_YPyxyVgx9e96o_fqwU3W1XSKnIR-gFhACOuupiVA6ZnzmXPA4_dT40rx-Rj2R0Sk3DHwoVwf2hbimAgtAT0bnLD70KZA/s320/Businesswoman+0015.jpg" /></a><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">....</span><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">......</span><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">.....</span> <br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">..</span><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">..</span><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">..</span> <span style="color:#ffffff;">...</span><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">...</span><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">..</span><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></p><span style="color:#ffffff;"><p><br /></span></p>Do not be discouraged at your faults;<br />bear with yourself in correcting them,<br />as you would with your neighbor.<br />Lay aside this ardor of mind,<br />which exhausts your body, and leads<br />you to commit errors.<br />Accustom yourself gradually to<br />carry prayer into all your daily occupations.<br />Speak, move, work, in peace,<br />as if you were in prayer, as indeed<br />you ought to be.<br />Do everything without excitement,<br />by the spirit of grace.<br />As soon as you perceive your natural impetuosity gliding in,<br />retire quietly within, where is the kingdom of God.<br />Listen to the leadings of grace, then say and do nothing<br />but what the Holy Spirit shall put in your heart.<br />You will find that you will become more tranquil,<br />that your words will be fewer and more effectual,<br />and that, with less effort, you will accomplish more good.<br /><br />FRANCOIS DE LA MOTHE FENELON.<br /><br />Every duty, even the least duty, involves<br />the whole principle of obedience. And little duties make<br />the will dutiful, that is, supple and prompt to obey.<br />Little obediences lead into great. The daily round of duty<br />is full of probation and of discipline; it trains the will,<br />heart, and conscience.We need not to be prophets<br />or apostles. The commonest life may be full of perfection.<br />The duties of home are a discipline<br />for the ministries of heaven.<br /><br />H. E. MANNING.<br /><br /><br />Every morning compose your soul for a tranquil day,<br />and all through it be careful often to recall your resolution,<br />and bring yourself back to it, so to say. If something<br />discomposes you, do not be upset, or troubled; but<br />having discovered the fact, humble yourself gently<br />before God, and try to bring your mind into a quiet attitude.<br />Say to yourself, "Well, I have made a false step;<br />now I must go more carefully and watchfully."<br />Do this each time, however frequently you fall.<br />When you are at peace use it profitably, making<br />constant acts of meekness, and seeking to be calm<br />even in the most trifling things. Above all, do not be<br />discouraged; be patient; wait;<br />strive to attain a calm, gentle spirit.<br /><br />ST. FRANCIS DE SALES.<br /><br /><br />Am I acting in simplicity, from a germ of the Divine life within,<br />or am I shaping my path to obtain<br />some immediate result of expediency?<br />Am I endeavoring to compass effects, amidst a tangled web<br />of foreign influences I cannot calculate;<br />or am I seeking simply to do what is right,<br />and leaving the consequences to the good providence of God?<br /><br />M. A. SCHIMMELPENNINCK.<br /><br /><br />The soul ceases to weary itself with planning and foreseeing,<br />giving itself up to God's Holy Spirit within, and to the teachings<br />of His providence without. He is not forever fretting as to<br />his progress, or looking back to see how far he is getting on;<br />rather he goes steadily and quietly on, and makes<br />all the more progress because it is unconscious.<br />So he never gets troubled and discouraged;<br />if he falls he humbles himself, but gets up at once,<br />and goes on with renewed earnestness.<br /><br />JEAN NICOLAS GROU.<br /><br /><br />I had found [communion with God] to consist,<br />not only in the silencing of the outward man,<br />but in the silencing also of every thought, and<br />in the concentration of the soul and all its powers<br />into a simple, quiet watching and waiting for<br />the food which its heavenly Father might see fit<br />either to give or to withhold. In no case could it<br />be sent empty away; for, if comfort, light, or joy<br />were withheld, the act of humble waiting at the gate<br />of heavenly wisdom could not but work patience in it,<br />and thus render it, by humility and obedience, more<br />"meet to be a partaker of the inheritance of the saints in light,"<br />and also more blessed in itself.<br /><br />M. A. KELTY.<br /><br /><br />Possess yourself as much as you possibly can in peace;<br />not by any effort, but by letting all things fall to the ground<br />which trouble or excite you.This is no work, but is, as it were,<br />a setting down a fluid to settle that has become<br />turbid through agitation.<br /><br />MADAME GUYON.<br /><p></p><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-86824417536779568332011-01-29T13:48:00.000-08:002011-01-29T14:02:01.739-08:00Pastor Roland Adds LiveHelp Customer Service<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhos9zaVZXmXlH-k00yQIEBp3lquKoyOyh0AmznV_JP3TCJXh4MyUToYV_qgMtKlskRVGtCqoQ_KBmeNK_TKJP4Ga9HHW_Ddf3oGA7ngdJtwVILOG2nSXOrQYwTgLekN13UklQGgoyCybXx/s1600/roland+office.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 99px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 87px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567719449554635154" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhos9zaVZXmXlH-k00yQIEBp3lquKoyOyh0AmznV_JP3TCJXh4MyUToYV_qgMtKlskRVGtCqoQ_KBmeNK_TKJP4Ga9HHW_Ddf3oGA7ngdJtwVILOG2nSXOrQYwTgLekN13UklQGgoyCybXx/s320/roland+office.jpg" /></a><br /><br />Need some help dealing with forgiveness, stress, with emotional issues, calming down, or gaining self control?<br /><br /><br />Thinking about getting some feedback or advice online but still have some questions or <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">concerns</span>?<br /><p>To help you with FAQ's, how to order books, and hours Roland is available </p><br />Roland has added <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">LiveHelp</span> --chat or email a customer service person. <a href="http://talktoapastoronline.blogspot.com/">Click here and look for the chat link in the right column.</a><br /><br /><br /><br />If your issue is about relationship issues: partner, wife, husband, family, or parents, then <a href="http://commonsensecouples.blogspot.com/">click here and look for the chat link. </a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-12554542539220947782010-12-06T11:46:00.000-08:002011-11-04T19:08:47.789-07:00How Do I Forgive My Husband?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMS6cd-hQfc2wZq6mT7H5BloHeJGI3lCkDdS466_OmpI0PNl83fPWUlYav2IpLnn_dFBGlIj60PUdAQz1xehGE-ZbAe2wi4CTbSfaDMWj7BZgm4lBzb7QsNM5mAjufK0FeFuWnt0Rl2c/s1600/couple+with+laptop+on+patio+0001.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 183px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 189px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547655844904456354" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMS6cd-hQfc2wZq6mT7H5BloHeJGI3lCkDdS466_OmpI0PNl83fPWUlYav2IpLnn_dFBGlIj60PUdAQz1xehGE-ZbAe2wi4CTbSfaDMWj7BZgm4lBzb7QsNM5mAjufK0FeFuWnt0Rl2c/s320/couple+with+laptop+on+patio+0001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDDFjWQuTbkrLOU1SHO_CQ3Q7VrmBCgrZYlPtqGKTjNWlF9Qzv_9Ay74Sfml1dOa6ainz06pSvvTZGr5oNaaO1PV_t6YLYGd8HVUbMv526Vf8yn5Nt-lMf1pqnxbuneaini1b9ZF-ilUk/s1600-h/Couple+having+fight+0001.jpg"></a><br /><em><span style="color:#666666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#666666;">The following are excerpts from my popular article What is the Number One Cause of Divorce</span></em><br /><span style="color:#666666;"></span><span style="font-family:lucida grande;color:#666666;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;color:#666666;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-family:lucida grande;color:#666666;" >Are you stressed out? Have you noticed that when you are resentful, you become more sensitive to life's little issues? When you are stressed at work, do you come home and easily lose patience with your kids? Do you come home and resent your husband over some little things that he does?<br /><br />Do you get angry at slow traffic or slow grocery lines? Would terms like "exasperated, nervous, irritated, or impatient" describe you?<br /><br />If so, you are probably over-reacting. And the worst reaction of all is that of resentment. It sets you up for becoming increasingly sensitive to what you might otherwise take in stride. . . . . . . . . . . .</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-family:lucida grande;color:#666666;" ><br /><br /><strong>I can honestly tell you that the number one reason for marriage break ups and relationship problems is resentment.</strong> </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">.<br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I understand why people become resentful. When things aren't going well or when others don't seem to understand us or our needs, that's when we need love, patience and understanding the most.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">We don't have it within because we are already destabilized and not in our center. So we look for love and understanding from others. And when they don't have it: we become resentful.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">What I have discovered in my 21 years of writing and talking to people about resentment is this: when things aren't going right, we look to change things on the outside.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;">.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">And of course our most frequent first choice is to try to change the other person. But you have found that this </span>doesn't<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> work. Whether it is your partner, your child, or your parent--trying to change another makes things worse. Either people resist our </span>manipulations<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> and rebel; or else they fall for our manipulations and become weak and dependent.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So here is the answer. Instead of looking to the outside for love, or looking to the outside to try </span>to<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> change someone, I have found that it is most helpful to first look at two things: one, our resentment; and two, our over-reactions that destabilize us in the first place.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">If you could learn to stand back and observe others without resentment or upset--understanding, patience and compassion could enter the picture. Secondly, you would begin to see clearly (when the emotional fog has cleared) what is really going on. So you could make better, calmer, and reasonable decisions.</span><br /><br /><br /><em style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></em><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-family:lucida grande;color:#666666;" >. . . . . . . . . . . .<a href="http://commonsensecouples.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-is-number-one-reason-for-divorce.html">Read the whole article</a></span><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://commonsensecouples.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-is-number-one-reason-for-divorce.html"> </a><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-family:lucida grande;color:#666666;" ><br /></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-family:lucida grande;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;" >.</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-family:lucida grande;font-size:100%;color:#666666;" ><a href="http://marriagedivorceadvice.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-love-my-husband-but-we-fight-all-time.html">Read Chapter One from the book <em>My Husband and I Argue All the Time - Time tested truths for healing relationships</em></a></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /><br /></span><p style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;color:#009900;"><a href="http://commonsensecouples.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-is-number-one-reason-for-divorce.html">Read <em>Avoiding Divorce by Giving up Resentment</em></a></span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><p style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;color:#3333ff;"><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm"><span style="color:#000000;">Preview free the ebook <em>My Husband and I argue All the Time-- Time Tested Truths for Healing Relationships </em></span></a><strong><br /></strong></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><br /><p></p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-36004850953990904132009-09-22T16:25:00.000-07:002010-06-03T18:15:48.718-07:00How Do I Stop Negative Self Talk<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt6PppdKxjB1yi95XC0LIOdYumPu03SHNA9cElKBXOZxG6EJ_-K6WCCCCBQb3u2n_gGF2HSonR7H0932zaWv8u8w3VWkZF4rMFVOvdE7xr5ioqQo9pWOk9mdobgpj_EDJ6sDxOyDcmWR8/s1600-h/Woman+in+music+store+0001.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 166px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 280px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384437753227266242" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt6PppdKxjB1yi95XC0LIOdYumPu03SHNA9cElKBXOZxG6EJ_-K6WCCCCBQb3u2n_gGF2HSonR7H0932zaWv8u8w3VWkZF4rMFVOvdE7xr5ioqQo9pWOk9mdobgpj_EDJ6sDxOyDcmWR8/s320/Woman+in+music+store+0001.jpg" /></a><br /><div>You'd be surprised how many people have feelings of inferiority. Some in one area, some in another. Some globally. Sooner or later you will hear stories of movie stars, championship athletes, and successful people from all walks of life who confess that they have always had feelings of inferiority.<br /><br /><br />You will feel relieved to know that others--even successful people--suffer from a sense of inferiority. But just knowing this won't do you any good. Besides, for every "successful" person there are dozens of people who are not being all they can be because of some trip that was laid on them when they were kids, or because of some suggestion they picked up and have never been able to shake.</div><div></div><div><a href="http://commonsensecounseling.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-to-conquer-feelings-of-inferiority.html">Read more. . . . . . . . .</a></div><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-64111099696323519672009-04-30T15:26:00.000-07:002010-05-14T13:27:52.253-07:00How Do I Forgive Myself<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikKI5mcM-7FUnBqhBK8HOjj09UcebpSSpUwnyqDBYW-g-nbqedOnx-EtEUihJflvvta7Az__SyxXMYT8yJaEqUSROWRvmdTNQQOxTqp1lH1hco8NXlOW6BPb8b6lZFmygZjQIP0hGOgyE/s1600-h/woman+with+hat+in+hammock+0001.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334386266103624498" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikKI5mcM-7FUnBqhBK8HOjj09UcebpSSpUwnyqDBYW-g-nbqedOnx-EtEUihJflvvta7Az__SyxXMYT8yJaEqUSROWRvmdTNQQOxTqp1lH1hco8NXlOW6BPb8b6lZFmygZjQIP0hGOgyE/s200/woman+with+hat+in+hammock+0001.jpg" /></a><br /><div>The short answer is: when you forgive others, you will be able to forgive yourself. I know it sounds simplistic, but I assure you it is Divine simplicity. It is so profoundly beautiful and perfect that it is worth remembering. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>If you start on the path of softening your soul and learning the law of love, you will look at this profound principle from time to time as the years go by, and each time you will see it more and more deeply. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div>Here are the words of the Messiah:</div><div></div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">..</span></div><div></div><div></div><em>" For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."</em> Matthew 6:13-15<br /><div></div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div>Do you see it now? If you see it, really see it, and receive it with joy, your life will already be on the mend.</div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">..</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>For many of us the softening of our heart begins when we grow up and have a family. We are thus required to walk in the moccasins of our parents. Suddenly we see that they were not being deliberately cruel. More often than not, they could not stop themselves, just as you can't. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div>We also see that they were just human. They got many things right, and a few wrong--just like you do. Now that you know what it feels like to walk in your parent's shoes, your heart softens and you are able to drop your judgments against them.</div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">..</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>Should you continue with this process, so that it extends to others (your kids, your mate, your neighbor, and so on), you become more forgiving. In other words, you no longer hate, resent and judge.</div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>Another thing happens. And this is really beautiful. When you begin to be sorry for resenting others (beginning with your parents), your conscience makes you feel a quiet sadness (called repentance). You are sorry within, and when you have been repented, joy returns. Suddenly you realize (because the inner Light makes it possible for you to realize it) that you have been forgiven.</div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div>And when you have been forgiven, it makes it all the more easy to be patient with others. You do unto others what was done to you (in this case, the very positive thing of forgiving and forgetting, even as God forgave you). </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>Lo and behold, when you have a mindset of forgiveness, and you realize that God has forgiven you, you can also now be patient with yourself. In other words, you no longer need play God (as you did in the past) and judge yourself. </div><div></div><div>Perhaps the most important thing for you to understand at this point is: you are repented. <em>You cannot repent yourself. </em></div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div>Trying to deal with our own sin is just another act of the ego that wants to make itself right (and if it can't then it judges itself). First our ego resents others, and then when it becomes guilty for this, it turns its resentment on itself. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div>The beginning of salvation is often just realizing that you cannot save yourself. Your ego, in all its huffing and puffing, just makes itself more guilty. The answer really is: to let go and let God (as the old saying goes).</div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>You realize that the whole process is up to God and you are in His hands. You can now calm down and go through life easily, letting come what may (and letting whatever surfaces from your past that you need to see) in God's time and space. There is little for you to do other than observe, marvel, and experience a quiet joy. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>At this point, you might simply want to bookmark this page and put it aside in order to quietly ponder what you have read. Then come back and read some very important tips later. </div><div></div><div></div><div>I must say that though you may see and wish to have this process implemented in your life, thoughts and emotions tend to get in the way. You tend to react to people, places and situations, and the emotions and negative thoughts overpower you. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div>Therefore it is very important to <a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>practice the meditation</strong></span> </a>that helps you stand back and observe thought and emotion without getting pulled in. It is free to listen to and download.</div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>Secondly, you need some guidance about how to protect the quiet, humble state of consciousness (which is receptive to correction and understanding). Your intentions may be good, but when you go out in the world, you soon encounter someone or something that knows how to push your buttons. Your ego tends to step in and you become upset and resentful, and you know the rest of the story. You need some practical pointers on how to not over-react. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div></div><div>To learn how to go through life without reacting, you may wish to get the <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/northwes"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>complete meditation and meditation booklet</strong></span></a> and start to read some of my books. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div>I can recommend three books to get you started: </div><div><em><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>Becoming a Friend of God</strong></span></a></em></div><div><em><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>Healing From Within - Spiritual Help For Broken People </strong></span></a></em></div><div><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/ebook_offer.htm"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong><em>The Best of Roland</em> </strong></span></a></div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Roland Trujillo is Director of the Center for Common Sense Counseling. His California based radio program has brought enlightenment and spiritual help to his listeners for 20 years. He has authored a dozen books and written hundreds of articles and blog posts. </span></em></div><a href="http://www.ismho.org/membership.asp"><img title="ISMHO" border="0" src="http://www.ismho.org/images/ismho.gif" /> </a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2322018615329053473.post-9103949539878441992009-04-27T08:43:00.000-07:002010-05-14T13:28:32.310-07:00How To Forgive and Forget: Letting Go of Baggage From the Past<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS0lj7IQgxcfU2ElzF-f3mz-va4u6a12H782DbKMdW5VzXsrSUPPvlzVZLmwUNwwL9s0e-nFoyVNug96xs1L7ctGUwwkivRMkrler4iCAAD1f3prKJCASr0UhNGqEGG7Fjbdyf5EqytjU/s1600-h/Life+0051.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 267px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 164px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329548742590733154" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS0lj7IQgxcfU2ElzF-f3mz-va4u6a12H782DbKMdW5VzXsrSUPPvlzVZLmwUNwwL9s0e-nFoyVNug96xs1L7ctGUwwkivRMkrler4iCAAD1f3prKJCASr0UhNGqEGG7Fjbdyf5EqytjU/s320/Life+0051.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Dear Fellow Traveler,</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Thank you for inquiring about this very important topic. Somehow we all know that we should be more forgiving. We sense that it is not a noble thing to harbor a grudge. We also sense that our unforgiveness is harming us. </div><div></div><div></div><div>We sense that it is coloring our life negatively.<br /></div><div>Moreover, we also begin to sense that not only does unforgiveness affect our mood and negatively color our existence, it also affects our health. Someone once told me that when she is stressed, she feels her aches and pains more. We all know that reacting to stress affects our immune system. </div><br /><div>Well, guess what! Unforgiveness is a stress. Or to put it another way, our unforgiveness makes what we are unforgiving toward a stress. How did you react the last time you got some really bad news? Did it affect your day, your mood, how you felt? I bet it did. </div><br /><div>Well, when you harbor unforgiveness toward someone or something--every time you encounter them or every time you even think of them, your body reacts to the presence of something that you have permitted to upset you. Resentment (which is what unforgiveness basically is) also sensitizes us to stress. In other words, we become more stress sensitive, more touchy and irritable. </div><br /><div>It gets worse. Because of the negative consequences of unforgiveness to our mood, health, feelings, and self image: whenever we are reminded of what or who we resent, we then resent them anew because of the effect they have on us. So now there are two resentments. One of the person for whatever they did (or when think they did). And two, a resentment for the effect that they are having on our present well being. </div><br /><div>It gets even worse. And because you are the type of person who is unforgiving, you will, of course, also resent yourself for allowing yourself to be upset. </div><br /><div>So now it becomes a self perpetuating cycle. Resentment leads to resentment. And when we see the effects, we resent them. When we become aware of our feeling, we resent the feeling. We struggle with it, and finally, we resent our own self.</div><div></div><br /><div>What is it that keeps the unforgiveness alive? It is resentment. Resentment reinforces the judgment and the unforgiveness in the now present. Each time something occurs that reminds us of what we have a grudge or unforgiveness toward, we make the mistake of resenting it anew.</div><br /><div>Bear in mind that once the cycle starts, it doesn't matter what you resent. Any resentment--another person, a situation, an object, yourself, or even awareness itself--reinforces the negative traumatic memory and keeps it alive. </div><div></div><br /><div>A memory is one thing. Resenting the memory is another. Were the memory to surface, and you stood back and observed it from the neutral zone, it would lose its base and quickly diminish. </div><br /><div>What is needed is a change of mind about unforgiveness and resentment. Earlier in our life, we resented others, beginning with our parents. Resentment means "to feel again." First there is the idea, then the feeling, then dwelling on the feeling in a way that we re-experience it. </div><div></div><br /><div>So first there is the judgment--where we were tempted to take umbrage at someone. By chewing the cud, so to speak, in other words dwelling on the memory and intensifying it with resentment, we could experience in our body the sensation of judgment, of being hard done by, of being treated unfairly. In other words, our perverse ego actually takes pleasure in wallowing in, indulging, and reveling in feelings of judgment and pain. By judging another or by feeling hurt, the ego continues to reinforce pride and a sense of its own goodness. </div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></div><div></div><div>In fact, many people eventually wallow in self hatred. They judge their own self (thereby trying to rise above conscience which makes them aware of their own wrong). By judging, the ego can rise above the wrong, and the feel self loathing, self pity, and so on. </div><div></div><div>So you see, what begins as a judgment and resentment can become a way of life: of dwelling on the past and wallowing in self pity. What you have to see is that this is a foolish game, one that leads to self destruction. </div><div></div><br /><div>We thought we had the right to resent. We wanted to milk the injustice for all it was worth. But this game made us sensitive. It also separated us from our own ground of good. Separated from the inner life from God, we feel empty. And in fact we were. Thus we became an empty ego, hurting and in need of comfort. </div><div></div><br /><div>Instead of standing back and realizing our own wrong for hating, we looked for comfort for our resentful self. We may have turned to food, drugs, drink, or other pleasures to fill the emptiness and assure us.</div><div></div><br /><div>Resentment and emptiness made the pleasure feel better. But before long, hating and then feeding our emptiness with something became a way of life.</div><div></div><br /><div>But this is not a human way to live. Instead we should go the other way: back to innocence, back to patience, back to freedom from hate, back to the good graces of our Creator.</div><br /><div>If you are ready to begin to drop your grudges, then may I recommend that you try the meditation that we offer here. An introductory version of it is free with no strings attached. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://www.commonsensecounseling.org/faq.htm"><span style="font-size:130%;color:#cc6600;"><strong>Find out more. . . . . . . .</strong></span></a></div><br /><div></div><br /><a href="http://www.ismho.org/membership.asp"> <img border="0" title="ISMHO" src="http://www.ismho.org/images/ismho.gif" /> </a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com